The customer is sometimes wrong

So I was out to dinner with my sister one evening at Houlihans.  The waitress approaches, and asks if she can take my order.

Me:  I’ll have the stuffed chicken breast

Waitress: Ok then, is asparagus ok for your vegetable?

Me: Umm, what other choices are there?

Waitress: Well we only have asparagus.

Me:  Well…I suppose I’ll have the asparagus.

Seriously woman, what kind of a question is that?  (The asparagus was fine, by the way, but really….come on.)  I have got to say though, even when someone in the service industry asks a question like that, I can’t get too annoyed.  Having worked several jobs in the service industry, I get how annoying and needy customers can be.  Here are some of my favorite moments from some of my least favorite jobs:

Bed Bath and Beyond

Customer: Excuse me miss?

Me: Yes sir, how can I help you?

Customer:  Do ya sell, uhh…..vibrators here?

Me: SIR?!?

Customer: Ohh!! I uhh mean, back massagers!  Do you sell back massagers?!  He quickly walked away.

Bed Bath and Beyond….again (this place provided me plenty of stories)

Customer:  Excuse me miss?

Me:  Yes sir, can I help you find something?

Customer:  Yeah….do yall sell those, uh, whadayacall um….body bags?

Me: BODY BAGS!?  As in….a body bag?

Customer: You know, those blankets that you can put around you and they snap or zip or button or whatever so they don’t fall off?

Me:  Sir I’m not sure I’d call that a body bag.

Enterprise Tech Support Desk

Me: Enterprise help desk, this is Brenda, how can I help you?

Customer: Yeahhh, uhhhh, I need to reset my password and uh, how do you type a capital seven?

Me: Sir?

Customer: You know, a capital seven.

Me: Sir numbers don’t have cases.

Customer: Maam, now I’m lookin’ right at it.  CAP-I-TAL  SEV-EN!!

Me: Sir I appreciate the clarification, what does a a capital seven look like?

Customer: You know….that squiggle sign above the 7

Me: Are you talking about an ampersand?  That’s not a capital seven, it’s a symbol for the word “and”

Customer: *click*

And this final one I sadly can’t take credit for, this happened to my friend while were working at Bed Bath and Beyond together.  I must say it’s my favorite:

Customer: Excuse me miss?  I need help finding a frame.

Worker: Sure, what size were you looking for?

Customer: I need an 11 x 17 frame

Worker: Oh no problem, there’s a whole section of them right here.  (Worker picks up the frame and shows it to the customer.)

Customer: Well, you see, these frames are 17 x 11, do you have any that are 11 x 17?

Worker: Um, well yes…..*flips frame horizontally* Now it’s 11 x 17.


4 thoughts on “The customer is sometimes wrong

  1. I feel your pain. But about the asparagus, customers who actually possess the ability to think (which is about 1% of consumers; and in this case, you’re in the 1%) should never feel bad when mislead by an idiot employee. I have plenty of stories like yours as well…something I get to enjoy everyday, Me: “Are you looking for something in particular?”
    Them: “Nope. But where’s the *insert very particular brand name*?”

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