Underwriter from HELL

Alright, there’s some serious  shizz going down with the condo I’m supposed to be closing on today, and rather than trying to describe this to a bazillion different people, I’d rather just do one blog post then completely ignore the subject for the rest of my life.  Much how I handle my breakups.  Ready?  Ready.

So I am in contract on a B-E-A-UTIFUL condo in St. Louis, on the north side of Forest Park.  Hardwood floors, stainless steel appliances, granite countertops, top floor of the complex, i’m telling you this place is awesome.

I initially started my mortgage application with Commerce Bank, they’d been my bank for ages and I thought why not just keep all of my accounts in the same place?  Got all done with the paperwork, they started underwriting (checking to see if all my info was legit, making sure I didn’t have a shady past, etc) and we ran into a little snag.  Turns out Commerce Bank doesn’t really care to do FHA loans (government insured loans with as little as 3.5% down) on Condos….so I wasted a couple hundred dollars and a week’s worth of time on these losers.  You think my loan officer might have known this from the start, but you’d be wrong.

Per the suggestion of several of my friends, I decided to contact Gershman Mortgage, in O’Fallon.  These guys were great, their rates were low and my two mortgage officers were super nice and I figured this was going to be a snap.  They ran my credit, everything checked out, I put down some earnest money, and arranged for an extra several thousand to be put down as a downpayment.  We agreed to close on May 21st, and that I would move on May 22nd.  There were a few little kinks to work out but I was assured that we would close on time, no problemo.  I went ahead and arranged for my friends and family to join me in moving, I packed up ALL of my belongings, rented a moving van, arranged for my utilities to be transferred to my name, the whole nine yards.

Imagine my surprise when I get a phone call from my Realtor YESTERDAY stating that all of a sudden, the mortgage company has a problem with the property.  Whenever you take out an FHA loan on a condo, the entire condo itself has to be FHA approved, and my property has been approved since March 2009.  Well, I guess the mortgage company decided that they needed more PROOF that the condo was FHA approved.  Nevermind that FHA confirmed it verbally over the phone.  Nevermind that it shows up on the approved condo list on FHA’s government website.  Nevermind that it’s been approved for a YEAR and several other tenants have been occupying the space using FHA loans AS WELL.  They wanted an actual document that nobody can find that nobody is even sure if it exists.  Awesome.

OH, BUT THAT’S NOT ALL!!

Apparently the condo company that I’m going through also owns a parking lot on that same street that is for sale.  Well, Gershman doesn’t really like that the condo company is doing residential AND commercial business, and unless they basically say they won’t sell the parking lot as commercial space, they are uncomfortable with this application and we won’t be able to close.

So here’s a few key questions you might be wondering about:

Are these legit concerns?  According to other underwriters/loan officers we have spoken to: NO, THEY ARE BEING CRAZY!!

Is the lease up on my apartment on May 28th?  Yes, yes it is.

Is all of your stuff already packed and in boxes?  Yup, all of it.

Is it entirely possible that you will have to go with a different lender because the Gershman underwriter has LOST HIS DAMN MIND and decided to nit pick at the 11th hour?  Uh huh

Does this mean you will have to wait another 2 weeks or so to close?  Won’t you be in Hawaii on vacation?  Indeed.

So there’s my fun little reality, I hope you have a lovely weekend, because I was supposed to close on my condo in an hour and a half, and it just looks like that won’t be happening.  Instead I think I’ll have an anxiety attack.  Or possibly some Xanex and a vodka chaser.

*****UPDATE!!!*******

There is a GLIMMER of hope, I just talked to my Realtor and it is entirely possible that everything Gershman asked for might actually happen.   MAYBE.  I’ll keep you posted, so send lots and lots of happy thoughts my way!!

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3 thoughts on “Underwriter from HELL

  1. Awwww 😦 Sorry to hear that it has been such a pain. House/Condo-buying should be a pleasurable experience that culminates in having a place of your own. I hope you will be able to get it all done before you go on vacation so you can enjoy it.

  2. Uuuuugh. The whole mortgage business has become a nightmare. Mine was easy-peasy this time, but ONLY because I sold my house before I bought my new one and had some cash laying around.

    I am sending good vibes your way!

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