Ah yes, as my baby brother pointed out, I’ve had a very long break from blogging. 40-some odd days to be specific. For that I would like to apologize! I’ve been a busy little bee for the past few months, working my ass off at DISA, going to school, pulling amazing grades, and yes…..getting a boyfriend.
Yes I REALIZE my last post was about how I didn’t need a boyfriend and how I was perfectly happy being single, and all of those statements are still true, but I’ve found a pretty fantastic dude to spend some time with. (To be fair we started dating in July and I JUST became a girlfriend, so I held off as long as I could. ) His name is Conor, and he’s fabulous, but that story is for another day. (And if he knew I was blogging about him he’d probably flip.)
THIS post is going to be about something very near and dear to my heart: bad dressers. I don’t consider myself to be a fashionista of any sort, but I can tell when something looks good, and when something looks GOD AWFUL STUPID. Summer tends to bring out the crazies, so there are plenty of opportunities to people watch and catch some crimes in the act. Here are some of my favorites:
Scarves in the summer:
Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii’m sorry, isn’t the basic function of a scarf to keep yourself warm? Correct me if I’m wrong there. I will NEVER understand sitting at a 100 degree baseball game, and looking over and seeing a boho wannabe bia-tch sitting there with her stupid summer scarf. I sort of want to choke her with it.
The color “salmon”
When girls have a tramp stamp, they are automatically categorized as a hussy. When men wear ANYTHING in the color salmon, its practically a “douche” nametag. I was at SubZero in the CWE last weekend and there was a guy wearing salmon colored shorts, a white polo WITH HIS COLLAR POPPED, and (seriously) penny loafers. Boys? I can ALMOST get on board with a pale pink shirt here and there, but I’m sorry, salmon is unacceptable.
There are all sorts of things that are bad for women that I can still get on board with. Wearing flip flops for hours on end, the occasional tanning session, paying $50 for a haircut….all fine. But WHY would ANY woman EVER need a purse this big?! What could you possibly need to carry with you at all times that would take up this much space? Even baby bags need not be this big. I’m telling you ladies, this is NOT ok.
Socks with Sandals
Ah yes, Ed Hardy and Affliction t-shirts….reminds me a lot of the Von Dutch movement while I was in high school. I was at the Drunken Fish and caught a glimpse of the DJ…he was wearing a RHINESTONE PEACOCK Ed Hardy T-Shirt. Seriously? He was looking through racks of clothes and saw THAT shirt and said “Ohhhh yeah, I’d look GREAT in that!!”
I could seriously go on for days here…cutoff shorts with the pockets hanging out the bottom, Ugg boots (ANY time of the year,) overly teased hair bumps, wearing white socks with dress shoes, blatant knock-off purses, girls that wear tube tops with a regular bra (I don’t like strapless bras either but sometimes they are necessary…suck it up!)
So there it is, sorry this post isn’t more fantastic, I feel like my return to blogging should have been more dramatic….fireworks and all that. Maybe next time, so stay tuned 😉